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(0:05, 1st period) - I was late to the game. Again. Are there alarm clocks for sale that don't have a snooze button? I mean, I know I spend that 9 minutes just worrying about the next time the alarm's going to go off, and when I finally do get up I'm usually a little disappointed in myself, but pressing that button is really the quickest way to make that annoying sound stop - and has the bonus effect of temporarily making me think I don't have a game today.
(0:15, 1st period) - I got my coffee and water and am ready to do some work! The whole day is ahead of me, I can really accomplish something today...let's get cracking!
(1:15, 1st period) - Ok. I'm done with the internet. Why does no one ever write me interesting e-mails. And if they do, why do I have to respond to them? It's so painstaking! Is the increased ability to communicate so easily contributing to a sense that there is no need to do so? Everybody's always in touch. In the 19th century people didn't talk everyday but when they saw eachother yearly they were extremely happy. Now when someone doesn't tickle you on Facebook you talk to your local friends about how you're not friends with that person anymore.
(1:30, 1st period) - I still haven't opened excel. This is a little game I play with myself (that says - "I play with myself"!). Ripley's believe it or not, I've gone the whole day before.
(2:03, 1st period) - I'm you're using a urinal does that give you permission to fart with reckless abandon? There's this guy that I have the misfortune of standing next to on occasion and he rips farts that reverberate off the tile covered floor and walls like an echo in the Grand Canyon. I understand we're in the bathroom, but I don't necessarily think that means everyone should adopt a Wild Wild West attitude towards every part of their body. Save it for the stalls.
(2:19, 1st period) - Damn! With a minute to go I get flustered, and as my boss comes by I open an excel file by mistake to make it look like I'm working! I have to be focused in the last minute...come on!
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(0:02, 2nd period) - How can there be so little internet? I think I've been to the end and back already. I can't even check the same sites daily because they bore me so much. Even ones I like. The most constantly updated thing is the news and I can't stand it - Three-headed Astronaut Panda Named Major Tom. These headlines kill me. Delta Burke Hits Paparazzi with Scooter. Is Ashton Kutcher's Mouth Really His? Republicans Say Democrats are un-American. Do you know where J.K.Rowling wrote The Sorcerer's (Philosophers) Stone? At work. Also do you know that J.R.R. Tolkein found a blank piece of paper while grading and wrote "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit" and did not revisit this paper for over a year?
(0:34, 2nd period) So I was going downstairs to get lunch and there were 6 people in the elevator, which easily fits 12, who were standing in very awkward angles that caused me to be plastered against the door. It was like these people had never ridden an elevator before! And I know they have because how else would they have gotten to the floor above me? If you do not know how to ride an elevator here's how - stand with your back parallel to the back wall and go as far back and to a side as possible. There's a chance people might need to get into your specially reserved car. DO NOT stand at a 45 degree angle almost right in the middle of the car and get lost in your rad Blackberry.
(0:40, 2nd period) Someone is eating something extremely obnoxious and the whole floor smells like microwaved turds. The internet has not been updated. People are eating Ranch 1, have they no pride? That yellow bag screams lazy and obviously not health conscious? Mowing down greasy chicken in the office is no way to try and move up the ladder. Same thing goes for wearing your one pair of tight jeans that don't reach your shoes just because it's Denim Day.
(1:30, 2nd period) My new favorite thing to say to people here is "What branch of SUNY did you go to?" Because I'm an elitist. And so are you if you think that's condescension.
(1:35, 2nd period) I'm going to go watch an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia in the bathroom.
(1:56, 2nd period) If you have not seen the episode "The Gang Gets Invincible" you have not seen comedy television. I've seen the Cheers episode where Sam and Woody kiss, the Bob Newhart finale, the Cosby Show where Cliff gives birth to a hoagie, the Full House where DJ gets her period, every Arrested Development (obvi), the Everybody Loves Ray where everybody loves him, and the Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry David eventually steps in shit, and am willing to go on the record (record keeper please note that) saying that "The Gang Gets Invincible" is the funniest episode in TV history.
(2:20, 2nd period) - Strong finish cutting and pasting. Coffee time!
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(0:14, 3rd period) - Just used my last available fake laugh of the day...now when it's required I'll have to fake pretend I was reading something.
(0:58, 3rd period) - I finally was on the receiving end of an "It is what it is" which is the business world equivalent of moving your tie to the side, unbuttoning your shirt, sliding your hand into your armpit, and cranking away like a chicken that had a stroke and now one side of its body is paralyzed.
(1:12, 3rd period) - My fake laugh would've really come in handy right there. Some guy just did and imitation of Brittany Spears imitating a British person to a group of people who obviously still had a fake in their reserves. It killed a little part of me.
(1:36, 3rd period) - Farting while washing your hands is going too far. Some people don't know that.
(1:42, 3rd period) - I'm constantly being asked by my boss to call people I've never talked to so I can discuss things I've never heard of. Example: "Can you call Tim and ask him when the ACG will be ready?" So I call this Tim guy and ask him, and of course he has a few questions about the requirements and the timeline. I used to panic and say I'd get back to them. I now know better, and just answer in ways that I know will confuse him. That way I win and he thinks I'm smarter than him because he has no idea what I'm talking about. Of course, neither do I.
(2:10, 3rd period) - It's getting close to quitting time! Nice to see that the sunlight is stretching out a bit.
(2:20, 3rd period) - Thank God there's no overtime. Well there is. It's optional and at a bar. But I've done my time with these people. I don't care to hear them talk shit on Vanessa's highlighting skills and Rod's butt after they have 1/2 a Stella. I'm going to the locker room, getting under my covers, and crying. Just like after every other game.
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Post-Game Analysis
In Thoreau's essay Life Without Principle his main theme is that you should not work primarily for a paycheck. I don't think he knew how important money is. It enables you do the things you want to outside of work. Those of you who are doing what you love - more power to you. There are A LOT of us out here who don't even know what we love - namely every person looking forward to retirement. The truth is 90% of us sell our days. But it's not that bad. It's something to do while everyone else is working and maybe it will, in some strange way, lead you to your passion. But for the short term it allows you to take a trip to Costa Rica, Europe, and occasionaly Asia Minor... and that's not to shabby.