Tuesday, February 12, 2008


If the Flyers miss out on something by two points, whether it be the playoffs entirely, home ice, or the gift of dodging the Devils in the first round, a loss tonight would be the one I'd remember. The truth is that every game offers the chance for a team to earn two points, games at the beginning of the season are just as valuable as games at the end - but it never feels that way.

Tonight the Flyers either avoid a 4 game losing streak or go into Thursday's game with the chance of losing 5 in a row. As I mentioned yesterday, the Islanders are struggling. They've lost 7 in a row, 6 of those in regulation. If they have any hope of making it to the post season they must start winning tonight. If the Flyers want to avoid becoming the Islanders they(I) must start winning tonight.

If you're a Phillies fan you know how it can get down the stretch. Every game at the end of the regular season becomes so meaningful - it's like the playoffs. Losing when you're supposed to win, as you face the home stretch, leaves even less room for error when you start your last ten games. The Flyers must take the points that are being given to them now.
......

Has Danny Briere done anything Briere-like since the season commencing West Coast roadtrip? He won the Flames game with a breakaway and then had that great move against the Oilers, but that's been it as far as dazzling the crowd. Maybe I'm just not remembering clearly, but has he made any passes or moves since that trip that have made your jaw drop?

Wasn't that when he changed his name to Daniel? Maybe he should go back.....
......

Congratulations to Kyle Greentree. Never drafted into the WHL, never drafted into the NHL, and now suiting up for the Philadelphia Flyers tonight. Unfortunately he'll be wearing number 65, which is extremely lame. I would've enjoyed a classic Andre Faust 36 or even the Sinasalo 23. 65 is pretty brutal.

Listened to: Le Nationale - About Today

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Monday, February 11, 2008


Today we are 70% of the way through the season. We are currently in 3rd place in the Atlantic, 6th in the Eastern Conference, but I think it's easier to focus solely on winning the division as we are in the race and we'd be assured a home play-off birth. Plus, if you come close chances are you'll be in anyway. We have a game at hand on both the Devils (1 point ahead) and the Penguins ( 4 points ahead). Had we defeated the Penguins in regulation yesterday we would be tied for first place. The Rangers are 2 points behind us but we have 4 games at hand on them.
Mike Richards is leading the team with 1.11 points-per-game, Briere is having a slightly disappointing season with .92, and other players are as follows:
Lupul - .85
Gagne - .72
Umberger - .72
Knuble - .67
Carter - .62
Hartnell - .62


We have the third most goals in the conference, but a lot of them have come in high scoring games. We are not having consistent 3+ goal nights. We are tied with the 5th least Goals Against in the conference.

We have 5 games upcoming against the Islanders, who we are currently 3-0 against. A series sweep could really be helpful. They are currently 10 points behind us and are really struggling as of late. They are 1-7-2 in their last ten games. If they want to go ahead and call it quits that'd be fine by me....maybe trade away for some young talent? We have 3 games against the Rangers and Pens, two against the Devils. The last week and a half of the season looks especially foreboding - Rangers, Devils, Isles, Pens, Devils, Pens.

Speaking of trades, the trade deadline is in 15 days. So in 2 weeks, at the latest, we'll know whether or not Peter the Great will be in a Flyers uniform this season. If you are one of those people that is still worried about messing up the team's chemistry then you obviously did not watch the weekend's games. Any argument against bringing him in can be countered with the this simple counter argument - He's Peter Forsberg. It's like asking if you want to bring in a magic goal machine. "Uh....actually no...I think we'll pass on the opportunity to give up no players and get a free goal every game."

I can almost guarantee that it happens next week, between Monday and Wednesday.

Braydon Coburn is out for about 2 weeks, which is good because it's not as long as originally thought. Simon Gagne, I have to believe, might be done for the season. Seems like he didn't shake the concussions. Upshall will be back in a week or so.

Our one trade of the season has proved to be a good one, as Vandermeer has lived up to his end of the bargain and sucked as much as Ben Eager.

I'm still a proponent of bringing in Boulerice for a couple games. He's really been beating the piss out of some guys in the AHL.

This is the part of the race where you want to start picking it up a bit, and not save your sprint for too late. We're beginning to make the final turn, and the post is coming. Tomorrow and Thursday offer an excellent opportunity to do this - two teams in the basement of their respective divisions, prime for beating.

Listened to: Soul Asylum - Misery

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Sunday, February 10, 2008


No I was actually right. The weekend has been ruined. What I was wrong about was who ruined it. It wasn't the Rangers, it was the Flyers. I totally forgot that they were even playing today until I tuned in with about 3 minutes left in the second - they looked pathetic. They literally could not get the puck during the third period. Letang's goal was the third time a Penguin had been allowed to cruise right in for the unprecedented "in-zone breakaway" during the period. It was a joke, and Biron was right to be upset. Seriously, what do you guys want him to do with no help? It's true that covering everyone who doesn't have the puck eliminates the pass, but it also allows the guy with the puck to do whatever he wants...think about that, bitches.


Another great by-product of this tremendous effort is that Simon Gagne is most likely out for the rest of the season. Which is great. Not that he was doing much anyway, but he's Simon Gagne. A 40 goal scorer and an Alternate Captain.

Talk about a deceiving score of 4-3...the third period was so difficult to watch I did a #4. A #4 people.

It's not the mere fact that we got 0 out of 4 possible points, so much as the fashion we did it in. We just looked sad out there. Everyone would have totally different feelings if we had a strong 4-3 loss. If we were generating scoring chances, creating turnovers, hitting hard. But we looked like bantam team that couldn't even get the puck.
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Say what you want about Downie skating away at the end of his fight. Jarkko Ruutu is 32. Steve Downie is 20. If he was done he was done. Linesmen break those situations up all the time, not sure why they didn't yesterday. Ruutu didn't look too into either.

Listened to: Dustin Kensrue - I Knew You Before

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Saturday, February 9, 2008


Jesse Christ (Jesus' less famous, carpet salesman brother) that game was almost exciting to watch: line brawls, blood, breakaways, saves, scoring. Everything a good matinee needs, just not enough of it for the Flyers. Steve Valiquette has now shut us out twice in a row...at home. I hope that's as hard to swallow for the players as it is for the fans. Getting beaten by the Devils and Rangers on a regualr basis is making me realize how much I'm actually looking forward to next year's scheuling changes. 8 times a season is just too many games against the same opponent, especially when you're losing.

I would love to talk here about how we won 2 out of 3 fights and it was a passionate game, but a 2-0 scores trumps any sense of pride I have for watching a Flyer punch a Ranger.

I think the whole weekend is ruined. I guess there's always tomorrow....

Listened to: Statues - Foo Fighters

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Friday, February 8, 2008

Believe me, I was as shocked as you are right now. More shocked even than when I realized I had forgotten to put my pants back on after going to the bathroom at work today. But it's true. At around noon Eastern Standard Time it was announced that the Flyers have come to a deal for the remainder of this season that will cost them $1.2M in pro-rated cap space, and also leaves them with Forsberg's rights for next season, a la Niedermeyer and Selanne.

Forsberg is expected to be in the lineup as soon as Thursday, when the Flyers host Tampa Bay, and will begin practicing with the team on Monday after their upcoming double matinee weekend. Here are some possible line combinations, with Upshall expected to return on Thursday as well:

Gagne - Forsberg - Knuble
Hartnell - Richards - Lupul
Kapanen - Carter - Upshall
Downie - Briere - Umberger

"I am very excited to be coming back to Philadelphia. I feel like I left a lot unanswered when I got traded, and didn't come through for the fans the way they had hoped. I feel 10x better than I never did during either season in Philadelphia and am ready to help the team in any way I can" said Forsberg in a statement released earlier.

It's rumored that Jason Smith is going to relinquish his #21 to Forsberg, so as to not disappoint the hundreds of fans that already have a #21 Forsberg jersey. He is also going to buy the 2 guys with #21 Smith jerseys new ones out of his own pocket with his new number - 00.

Listened to: Daphne Loves Derby - Middle Middle

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Thursday, February 7, 2008

1 - Brooks Laich - Unbelievably bad positioning by Braydon Coburn. He was bumped out so far to the right that when Hatcher got lured out to the left by Mike Green the middle was completely wide open. A 3-2 turned breakaway...inconcievable! A little later Smith gets a great hit in the corner because the D clog up the middle on a 3-on-2 and the Caps lose the puck to the outside.

2 - Mike Knuble - Great puck movement on the powerplay. Briere showed great patience in waiting for the Caps to blow the coverage in front. Not many players, especially players like Knuble, are going to fail to convert on that one.

3 - Matt Bradley - Where as Flyers scrappers did not seem to be inspired enough by Ron Hextall's induction into the Flyers Hall of Fame, Martin Biron got a little too over-zealous. Marty - you have got to let Vandermeer play that puck behind the net. No Caps were around, we had beaten their cycle, and then we go and give it right back to them.

4 - Victor Kozlov - 4th line is caught out there, quick transition play, 2 on 2 and Biron just gets beat by a perfect shot off the post while Hatcher and Coburn try to recover from mixing their signals. I've noticed the fourth line out there a lot at times when I don't expect them - mainly at the end of the period and the third period in general. With Sami being the only "real" player on that line I'd like to see a little less of them in critical situations - aka down 2-1 in the third period.

5 - AO - When you're team is down by two goals the next goal scored is the most critical goal in hockey. The difference between game-over and a nail-bitter. Ovechkin, who is an immensely talented player manages to break coverage, which he is bound to do, but then is allowed not one but two cracks at net. God damn Coburn and Hatcher again.

6? - Hartnell - Simon Gagne if you don't start burying that puck like you mean it you're going to be playing Red Light/Green Light with Clay Aikens instead of practicing.

6 - Sami Kapanen - Go to the net and good things happen. They don't ask how they ask how many.

7 - Randy Jones - Randy shows some awesome poise with the puck in the slot. It doesn't take much of a move from a D-man right there to shake the other team's defense, who is thinking pass first - and Jonesy 2.0 makes the Caps look utterly foolish.

Listened to: Coheed & Cambria - Feathers

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Wednesday, February 6, 2008


I remember when I was young and playing street hockey every goalie used to clank his stick from post to post, just like Ron Hextall. When Hextall switched from the traditional brown pads to white ones, so did all the kids in net in the street. Even before Mylec got around to making them kids were spray-painting their brown ones.

He used to fly (pun actually not intended for once) around the ice in warm-ups. Always the first one out. Always the first for a lot of things actually - to defend a teammate, to score a goal as a goalie, to take the team on his shoulders when he could.

It's not often that you think/care about a goalie outside of their basic context - stopping the puck. But everyone loved Ron Hextall. Kids wanted to be like him, and I'd be willing to bet a lot of adults admired him for his fire and willingness to get involved in situations he felt required it.
...
I'm glad he is being inducted in the Flyers Hall of Fame tonight because his play is a huge part of what Flyers fans have come to expect out of their players.

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Tuesday, February 5, 2008


I didn't get to see Saturday's game because I was hitting the slopes (actually at that point I was hitting the dance floor and even managing to "pump it" with a short sleeve shirt on) but was really happy to read that Riley Cote challenged Parros in the third period, after being the recipient of a crushing uppercut in the second. Between apres-ski and watching a friend fall asleep on the bar only minutes after doing "the canoe", I read on dropyourgloves that Cote had been tko'ed by Parros, and my first instinct was to hope that he would try to redeem himself. And that he at least tried I think is great.

I like Riley Cote and think he is an incredible middle-weight fighter. But he is consistently going to have trouble with the real big guys in the league. I have no doubt at all that he's willing to go with them, and to a certain extent that is all that's required. But he is not feared by the elite and you can tell when they square off against him (McGrattan being a prime example - and he paid for it). I don't think that any amount of practicing or jazzercising is really going to change this. He'll never dominate everyone in the league. Some guys that aren't huge just have "it" - Tie Domi, Tony Twist, Marty McSorley. This is why I think at some point you're going to see Jesse Boulerice back with the big club, at least for a couple games - he is crazy. Cote is a fighter by trade and he works at it. Boulerice more than likely has serious mental issues, and to a certain extent you need this to be feared.

It's hard to discern whether fans, including myself, actually like Riley Cote the hockey player. It's a well-known fact that enforcers are usually the biggest jokesters on the team and the guy you'd want to have a couple beers with at Applebees, so that he's likeable is a given. But where it gets tricky is that any fighter in a Flyers uniform is always going to be loved. So I wonder if fans actually love him or the role he fulfills. The Flyers haven't had a long-term fighter since Brashear, and I feel like it takes a couple seasons at least for the fans to develop a true association with the player and not just the "Flyers Enforcer."

That's why, while I really do like Cote and have to check my diaper every time he gets a shot off, and will root for him as hard as anyone, I think Boulerice should get a couple games so we can see just how nuts he really is. If we could get a Parros, Boogard, Shelly, King, or Laraques of our own that'd be a player the Flyers fans could really hold on to.

I'm not willing to put my heart out there quite yet just to have it Eagered again.

Listened to: The Magic Numbers - Undecided Love

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Monday, February 4, 2008


It's become pretty obvious to everyone in the NHL's front office that even though the Flyers are clearly the best team in the Eastern Conference, every team in the East is going to make the playoffs. Because of the parity. After considering several different playoff formats, many consisting of events that were used to reduce the number of teams in Nickelodeon's Legends of the Hidden Temple of to just 2, they realized that it would be more cost efficient to create more tie-breakers and keep the playoff format as is, with 8 teams from each conference. Please see the new, longer, list of tie-breakers below:

1. Number of wins
2. Number of goals for
3. Number of goals against
4. Combined height of all players under 6 feet tall
5. Number of players that can sing "American Pie" in its entirety
6. Number of players who have not cheated on their wife
7. Captains Iron Chef - Duck balls
8. Homerun hitting contest at Fenway
9. Which team can find Natalie Holloway first
10. Which enforcer can look at Amy Winehouse naked longer without throwing up
11. All euro player pants-off dance-off. The Hoff to judge.
12. Amount of time it takes to pin Brendan Fraser
13. If a player can adequately explain to me why girls wear both pants and dresses at the same time
14. Number of players that can take love potion # 9 and not start "kissing everything in sight"
15. Jenga

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Sunday, February 3, 2008


There are a couple of players in the Flyers organization who played together before they started making the big bucks. Here they are:


Daniel Briere - Denis Gauthier - Drummondville Tigers
Gauthier's numbers in junior are pretty impressive. The year after he was drafted (20th overall) he scored 74 points in 56 games, 25 of them goals. I wonder if he'll ever be back in the NHL again.


R.J. Umberger - Nate Guenin - Ohio State Buckeyes
Umberger's third, and last, year at Ohio State saw 19 year-old Nate Guenin's arrival. I bet Umberger hazed the shit out of him.


Scott Hartnell - Riley Cote - Prince Albert Raiders
Hartnell and Cote played two full seasons together in Prince Alberta....and then took decisively different routes to this year's Flyers club.


Kimmo Timonen - Sami Kapanen was 18, Kimmo was 16 for KalPa Kuopio of the Finnish Elite League in 1874
These guys played a little more than 2 seasons together in the Finnish Elite League until they both went to different clubs in '94-'95...Sami would arrive in Hartford the next year, whereas Kimmo waited until '98-'99.


Simon Gagne - Martin Biron - Beauport Harfangs
In '96-'97, Gagne's first full season in the Q, Biron was traded to Hull 18 games into the season. I wonder if these two actually knew eachother at all.


Listened to: Belle & Sebastian - Sukie in the Graveyard

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Saturday, February 2, 2008



You can bust the New NHL's chops all you want, but the award for worst hockey-related idea of all-time is, and will forever be, owned by the Philadelphia Flyers.


I only realized its full stupidity when I was trying to explain to a casual hockey fan what exactly I was talking about, and heard myself utter "Kind of like snowpants." The Copperall was the worst looking, most ridiculous idea since chucks made a their transition from basketball sneaker to Hipster badge of honor. The fact that the Flyers were able to trick the Whalers into joining them in this ill-conceived joke is even more impressive than wearing these monstrosities for 2 full seasons.


Maybe the Flyers will be the first to wear "Shortpants" in the 2012-13 season?


Listened to - Damien Rice - Animals Were Gone

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Friday, February 1, 2008


...and start rooting for Philadelphia, this would be the article you would've read this morning:

Flyers Dissect Rangers

The Philadelphia Flyers built upon their impressive rise to the top of the Atlantic Division by beating the Rangers 4-0 last night. The Flyers continued their winning ways with a crisp-looking win, escalating their record to 13-2-1 over the past 16 games. The win also kept their home winning streak alive at 5 and they put a little more distance between themselves and New Jersey/Pittsburgh in the Atlantic. They also now sit only 5 points behind the Senators for first place in the Eastern Conference after a Sens loss last night.

"We dictated the game tonight," Stevens said. "We were the better hockey team out there."

The Rangers, who went into the game with the fewest goals of any NHL team, remained that way after a terrific goaltending performance by Antereo Nittymaki.

"It was my best game," Niittymaki said.

He was playing for the first time in nine days, so all were a little worried about him being rusty - but when he made 14 breakaway saves in a row (which the Flyers D gave up on purpose to allow him to warm-up) all knew it was going to be Nitty's night.

"That great save Nitty made on a guy who's scored - what - about a thousand goals now? That made me have to take a between periods dump" Stevens said, referring to Shanahan, who has a team-leading 17 goals. "There's nothing he could do on that play except stop the puck because he's so good, and I think you've got to keep the momentum going at that point."

The game was probably more unforgettable for defenseman Jim Vandermeer than for Niittymaki. Vandermeer helped lead to three Flyers goals. On a short-handed goal by Riley Cote in the early moments of the second period, Vandermeer was in the penalty box. "That just wouldn't have happened if Vandy didn't have the foresight to slash someone in the face," Cote said.

Steve Downie gave the Flyers a 1-0 lead midway through the first period, when Vandermeer knocked down Drury's failed attempt to start a rush up ice. Valiquette went down when Downie faked a slapshot, leaving the net wide open for an easy goal.

"I just went to chip it up, and Vandermeer caught it," Drury said. "It was kind of a soft play on my part. I figured it was high enough, but he got it."

Said Valiquette: "It looked like he was going to shoot. I was probably a little too aggressive there."

Drury was late hopping off the bench and couldn't get back in time to prevent Sami Kapanen's goal off a rebound that made it 2-0 late in the first. Shortly afterward, Vandermeer went to the box for high sticking, and Cote made it 3-0.

"It was a turnover at the line, and I was late coming off the bench," said Drury, whose play may prompt the Rangers to slap him in the buttcheeks.

Finally, the Flyers got a two-on-one when Drury moved up to check Derian Hatcher at the Rangers' blue line, leaving Brian Leetch outmanned by Vandermeer and Terry Murray, who scored the final goal.
"It's a long season, and you have games like this," Timonen said. "You don't want to, but you do have to beat teams 4-0 occasionally."

Meanwhile, the Rangers barely tested Nitty after the 14 free breakaways.
"I don't know if he had two hard saves all night," Stevens said.
The Flyers had 230 shots on goal, seven in the final three minutes. Fortunately for the Flyers, more than half the crowd had filed through the exits early in the third period to get more beer and watch the onslaught.

Throughout the game, the Flyers were consistently winning races to the puck and outskating the Rangers, who played without a sense of desperation and feasted on turkey.

The only downside to the Flyers night was that their string of 11 consecutive games scoring at least one power-play goal came to an end.

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Thursday, January 31, 2008


Inspired by writers who do a very good job at doing a "live" analysis of a hockey game, I have decided to do one of my own. Except I thought it only fair that if hockey players are to be analyzed minute by minute while doing their jobs that I should be subject to the same treatment. So I'm breaking my workday up into three 2:40 minute periods and bringing you live coverage from 1166 Avenue of the Americas Arena:
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(0:05, 1st period) - I was late to the game. Again. Are there alarm clocks for sale that don't have a snooze button? I mean, I know I spend that 9 minutes just worrying about the next time the alarm's going to go off, and when I finally do get up I'm usually a little disappointed in myself, but pressing that button is really the quickest way to make that annoying sound stop - and has the bonus effect of temporarily making me think I don't have a game today.

(0:15, 1st period) - I got my coffee and water and am ready to do some work! The whole day is ahead of me, I can really accomplish something today...let's get cracking!

(1:15, 1st period) - Ok. I'm done with the internet. Why does no one ever write me interesting e-mails. And if they do, why do I have to respond to them? It's so painstaking! Is the increased ability to communicate so easily contributing to a sense that there is no need to do so? Everybody's always in touch. In the 19th century people didn't talk everyday but when they saw eachother yearly they were extremely happy. Now when someone doesn't tickle you on Facebook you talk to your local friends about how you're not friends with that person anymore.

(1:30, 1st period) - I still haven't opened excel. This is a little game I play with myself (that says - "I play with myself"!). Ripley's believe it or not, I've gone the whole day before.

(2:03, 1st period) - I'm you're using a urinal does that give you permission to fart with reckless abandon? There's this guy that I have the misfortune of standing next to on occasion and he rips farts that reverberate off the tile covered floor and walls like an echo in the Grand Canyon. I understand we're in the bathroom, but I don't necessarily think that means everyone should adopt a Wild Wild West attitude towards every part of their body. Save it for the stalls.

(2:19, 1st period) - Damn! With a minute to go I get flustered, and as my boss comes by I open an excel file by mistake to make it look like I'm working! I have to be focused in the last minute...come on!
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(0:02, 2nd period) - How can there be so little internet? I think I've been to the end and back already. I can't even check the same sites daily because they bore me so much. Even ones I like. The most constantly updated thing is the news and I can't stand it - Three-headed Astronaut Panda Named Major Tom. These headlines kill me. Delta Burke Hits Paparazzi with Scooter. Is Ashton Kutcher's Mouth Really His? Republicans Say Democrats are un-American. Do you know where J.K.Rowling wrote The Sorcerer's (Philosophers) Stone? At work. Also do you know that J.R.R. Tolkein found a blank piece of paper while grading and wrote "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit" and did not revisit this paper for over a year?

(0:34, 2nd period) So I was going downstairs to get lunch and there were 6 people in the elevator, which easily fits 12, who were standing in very awkward angles that caused me to be plastered against the door. It was like these people had never ridden an elevator before! And I know they have because how else would they have gotten to the floor above me? If you do not know how to ride an elevator here's how - stand with your back parallel to the back wall and go as far back and to a side as possible. There's a chance people might need to get into your specially reserved car. DO NOT stand at a 45 degree angle almost right in the middle of the car and get lost in your rad Blackberry.

(0:40, 2nd period) Someone is eating something extremely obnoxious and the whole floor smells like microwaved turds. The internet has not been updated. People are eating Ranch 1, have they no pride? That yellow bag screams lazy and obviously not health conscious? Mowing down greasy chicken in the office is no way to try and move up the ladder. Same thing goes for wearing your one pair of tight jeans that don't reach your shoes just because it's Denim Day.

(1:30, 2nd period) My new favorite thing to say to people here is "What branch of SUNY did you go to?" Because I'm an elitist. And so are you if you think that's condescension.

(1:35, 2nd period) I'm going to go watch an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia in the bathroom.

(1:56, 2nd period) If you have not seen the episode "The Gang Gets Invincible" you have not seen comedy television. I've seen the Cheers episode where Sam and Woody kiss, the Bob Newhart finale, the Cosby Show where Cliff gives birth to a hoagie, the Full House where DJ gets her period, every Arrested Development (obvi), the Everybody Loves Ray where everybody loves him, and the Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry David eventually steps in shit, and am willing to go on the record (record keeper please note that) saying that "The Gang Gets Invincible" is the funniest episode in TV history.

(2:20, 2nd period) - Strong finish cutting and pasting. Coffee time!
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(0:14, 3rd period) - Just used my last available fake laugh of the day...now when it's required I'll have to fake pretend I was reading something.

(0:58, 3rd period) - I finally was on the receiving end of an "It is what it is" which is the business world equivalent of moving your tie to the side, unbuttoning your shirt, sliding your hand into your armpit, and cranking away like a chicken that had a stroke and now one side of its body is paralyzed.

(1:12, 3rd period) - My fake laugh would've really come in handy right there. Some guy just did and imitation of Brittany Spears imitating a British person to a group of people who obviously still had a fake in their reserves. It killed a little part of me.

(1:36, 3rd period) - Farting while washing your hands is going too far. Some people don't know that.

(1:42, 3rd period) - I'm constantly being asked by my boss to call people I've never talked to so I can discuss things I've never heard of. Example: "Can you call Tim and ask him when the ACG will be ready?" So I call this Tim guy and ask him, and of course he has a few questions about the requirements and the timeline. I used to panic and say I'd get back to them. I now know better, and just answer in ways that I know will confuse him. That way I win and he thinks I'm smarter than him because he has no idea what I'm talking about. Of course, neither do I.

(2:10, 3rd period) - It's getting close to quitting time! Nice to see that the sunlight is stretching out a bit.

(2:20, 3rd period) - Thank God there's no overtime. Well there is. It's optional and at a bar. But I've done my time with these people. I don't care to hear them talk shit on Vanessa's highlighting skills and Rod's butt after they have 1/2 a Stella. I'm going to the locker room, getting under my covers, and crying. Just like after every other game.
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Post-Game Analysis
In Thoreau's essay Life Without Principle his main theme is that you should not work primarily for a paycheck. I don't think he knew how important money is. It enables you do the things you want to outside of work. Those of you who are doing what you love - more power to you. There are A LOT of us out here who don't even know what we love - namely every person looking forward to retirement. The truth is 90% of us sell our days. But it's not that bad. It's something to do while everyone else is working and maybe it will, in some strange way, lead you to your passion. But for the short term it allows you to take a trip to Costa Rica, Europe, and occasionaly Asia Minor... and that's not to shabby.

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Wednesday, January 30, 2008


I can't believe that the Flyers won that game. The played absolutely flat and uninspired - like a bunch of ugly people taking the uptown 6 train to their cubicles and annoying co-workers. The Kings are currently the worst team in the NHL and the Flyers are toying with hopes of a decent play-off run. The Red Wings have beaten the Kings 4-1, 6-2, and most recently 3-0 this season. The Flyers are currently 2nd in the Eastern Conference but hardly ever look it. They are managing to win, which is most important of all, but they can't put together a significant stretch of strong defense, good passing, and significant scoring chances. Their break-outs last night were abhorrent. If it wasn't a bad first pass from the defense then it was a good pass that the forwards couldn't handle for some reason. The Red Wings treat the Kings like shit and so should've we.

I hope John Stevens is driving it into their heads today that every pass needs to be perfect, every move decisive and with purpose. If a player is forced to chip a puck up the boards those forwards who weren't open have to make up for it and win that puck, get it deep, and bang (not each other). Sami Kapanen was the only Flyer consistently showing fire out there last night. I know the forecheck turned extremely passive out there and am fine with that - it's a proven technique. That does not mean, however, that the lowest forward (aka Mike Richards) 's demeanor should reflect that of my aunt on a Sunday skate, twirling around with one hand on his stick in front of the net.

Flashes of intensity - Coburn on Brian Willsie, Sami running through the boards, Upshall getting roughed up after the whistle - breed energy among the other players. They lead to turnovers and chances, and these lead to a sense of getting closer to scoring - which is the strongest encouragement available. When players feel a goal coming on they want the puck and it's easier to work hard.

I'd like to see one game where it looks like the Flyers are blowing lines before the game and between every period.
Listened to: Fiction Planes - Two Sisters

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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Kings are in town tonight, which is kind of cool because it's not that often that we get to see them. It kind of feels like a special event or something. Whereas Flyers fans will see Scott Gomez's little Mexican face 8 times this year, this will be the only game that they'll have to watch Raitis Ivanans and Riley Cote punch each other in the head. Because this is such a rare occasion it got me wondering what players we would see tonight. Any ex-Flyers? Off-hand, I knew Handzus (man is he having a rough year - 13 pts in 51 games) plays for the Kings - but I can't think of many other Kings players in general, much less ex-Flyers. But then I was wondering - is Handzus even an ex-Flyer? I know he was in Philly for a couple of years, but does that mean he is/was a "real" Flyer? So I looked into it - what is a Flyer?

I was first thinking that it could be determined by games alone, but there are a couple problems with that. Namely that Barry Ashbee, whose number is retired, played 270 games in the Orange & Black and Dan Mcgillis, who was ok I guess, played 340. Then I thought maybe I should go by points, but I feel like a "real" Flyer is often a third liner who doesn't even score that much. So that doesn't work. After trying to figure out formulas, looking through play-off rosters, and imagining a number of other attempts to quantify a Flyer I settled on the fact that no amalgamation of statistics can really identify that feeling that fans have about a player. And that's when it hit me - it's totally subjective and almost impossible to measure, but it's the way that real Flyers fans feel about a player that makes him a Flyer or not.

In Philadelphia, effort has become the substitute for excellence. Philadelphians have gone 100 seasons without a championship. 100 seasons without a parade that didn't involve Santa running up the Art Museum steps or people with instruments dressed up like Jabberwockey Clowns scaring the shit out of children along Broad Street. (By the way, can you picture the Flyers in flip-flops and shorts in June having a photo shoot with the Stanley Cup at the top of the Art Museum steps?) Scoring and success will always be rewarded by the Philly fans, but no amount of production can make up for a lack of effort, bloated sense of self-importance, or sub-par commitment to the team, and in turn the city - i.e. Ricky Waters. This Spring when Arron Rowand comes back to Philadelphia some fans will resent the fact that he left, but when he broke his face trying to make a play he ensured that, even though he only played 2 seasons, he was a Phillie for life.

So tonight, if Kyle Calder and Michael Handzus get the start we'll be able to tell. It's doubtful this will happen, but it's the only way I can think of measuring it. Calder will surely get booed for his lack of effort and production in his short stint as a Flyer last year, but Handzus will be interesting to see. A gentle round of applause mixed with a couple whistles or the alternative - resounding boos. There's no in between. Either he was or wasn't.

Listened to: Keane - The Frog Prince

Wes Waltz played 2 games as a Flyer and even scored a goal.
Richard Park played 7 games for the Flyers in 98-99.
Adam Oates only played 14 regular season games for the Flyers.
Rod Brind'Amour played 633 games as a Flyer. He's played 683 NHL games as not a Flyer.

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Monday, January 28, 2008

(Camden, NJ) - Apparently the NHL's tireless and sometimes embarrassing efforts to market their brand is finally garnering some attention. If you noticed an abundance of Campbell's Chunky Soup commercials during yesterday's All-Star game it's for a good reason. The NHL and Campbell's, based in Camden, New Jersey, have agreed to a three-year endorsement deal. Campbell's has previously endorsed the NFL only, but had been looking to branch out to other sports that they felt soup-eating America could relate to.

"Our NFL initiative has been so successful that we've been looking for another market to take on for quite some time, and I think we've found it" said Campbell's Director of Marketing Beverly Newkirk. "The association between football and soup was a lay-up. What's the first thing you think of when I say football? Soup. Easy - everyone knows that. But in selecting our sophomore market we had a little more trouble. Among the other candidates were the pro volleyball circuit, the Indoor Soccer League, and of course PBR. But when it came down to it, especially after overwhelmingly positive results in our initial research groups, it became quite obvious to us the hockey and soup go together almost as meatily as football and soup."

Campbell's is looking to release their first NHL related products toward the end of the first quarter, and are taking a decisively different angle with the NHL. Rather than have hockey players feeding their elderly mothers soup as they do in NFL advertisements, Campbell's is going to feature current coaches of the NHL on their first soups.

"The first coach was a pretty obvious choice. We decided almost immediately that the order of coaches to appear on the labels should be based on how well they performed as players in the NHL. Everyone in our division knew that 'The Great One' coaches, so that didn't take much research. There were some surprises in there though:



We had this great idea for Ken Hitchcock Beef Stroganoff Surprise but it doesn't look as if we'll get to him anytime soon. I'm not even sure if he ever played hockey."

It's an exciting time here, with so many new flavors coming out and so many great coaches lined up for immediate release - from Mike Babcock Fully Loaded Turkey Pot Pie to the Lindy Ruff Healthy Request Grilled Chicken and Sausage Gumbo."

Only time will tell if this joint venture between the NHL and Campbell's will take off. There's been discussions between the two in regards to a number of marketing ploys such as replacing water bottles with soup bottles, giving the goalies gigantic spoons instead of sticks, and actually freezing Campbell's Chicken Mushroom Chowder as a playing surface. For now though, advertisements on the boards of Tom Reney and Jim Torterella in a hot tub full of Honey Roasted Ham with Potatoes are the only directives that have received approval from both the league and Campbell's.

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Sunday, January 27, 2008



Flyers-friendly websites are reporting that Mike Richards and Kimmo Timonen helped the East beat the West in tonight's All-Star game, but I'm not really sure that's the case. Although Richards did have a very nice assist on the East's second goal of the game he was otherwise invisible - except when he failed to convert on an open net opportunity in the 2nd. Richards had no shots on goal and was even at the end of the match. Timonen was -2 with no points, and was almost as equally difficult to find out there.

If I were coach John Stevens I would sandbag the entire Flyers team today for that performance while Richards and Timonen sat on actual pedestals at center ice. This game was an opportunity to show the 20k people in Atlanta and the 20k people watching at home how we play hockey in Philadephia - mainly dirty and hard. I didn't see any hooking, tripping, or face-washing out there. I am utterly disappointed.

And if I'm John Stevens the one thing I especially don't see is a brand new Dodge Caravan in the parking lot of the Flyers Skatezone this morning. A vehicle of that prestige could have been the perk we needed to lure Peter Forsberg back to Philadelphia and we let it slip through our fingers because it would have been too embarrassing to block a couple shots, break a couple sticks on the crossbar, or drop your gloves with Chris Osgood.

If this is any indication of how we're going to play down the stretch please let me know now so I can cancel my Center Ice. That $40 I'd get back could buy enough crack to lure Amy Winehouse to my apartment where I could lock her under the stairs so no one would have to ever look at her disgusting Groucho Marx face ever again.

Listened to - M.I.A. - Paper Planes

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Saturday, January 26, 2008

It appears that the Eastern Conference might be trying to make a statement to the West with it's Young Stars lineup. The Young Stars game is designed to showcase some of the young, upcoming talent in the league so that fans can get a taste of players who will most likely become household names down the road.

Apparently unpleased with their 9-8 win in last year's competition the East has assembled a team that most closely resembles the Syracuse Bulldogs from Slapshot. There's no Ogie Oglethorpe or Tim "Dr. Hook" McCraken, but I'm not sure that these players are our most offensively skilled young guns.

The Western Conference forwards have 0 NHL fights between the 4 of them, and only 1 in all of their careers before the NHL - Sam Gagner had one in the WHL. The Eastern Conference forwards have a combined 39 fights in the NHL and a combined 207 throughout their entire careers! I'm going to go out on a limb and predict a rout for the West, but I'm not sure they'll be able to enjoy it for very long.

The West has 114 points this season compared to the East's 84. Thank God for Nicklas Backstrom and his back-to-back 4 point games last week.

Did they even give Jim Dowd a look?

Listened to: Daphne Loves Derby - Middle Middle

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Friday, January 25, 2008

Is George Laraque a dirty player or do we just bring out the best in him? I mean the guy is the disputed heavy weight champ of the league...why does he play these little games? He doesn't need to pull busch league moves like that hit from behind on Downie. That coupled with his attempted take out of Marty Biron 2 match-ups ago just makes him look like a bitch.
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I personally don't think the actual push was that bad in and of itself. The way Downie went into the boards was. Which was a direct result of the push - so Laraque is culpable.
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They were totally different hits but I think Laraque will probably get the same as Kovalchuk. Maybe 2 because Downie went into the boards so awkwardly. I was worried that we'd been Bergeroned.
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Downie will surely garner no sympathy for this. The die has been cast on him, regardless of which side you're on. Those pert plus commercials were true...you never get a second chance to make a first impression. And people with dandruff are freaks.
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Listened to: Matisyahu - Time of Your Song

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Thursday, January 24, 2008


I think I had a couple clever things to say today, but work ballsed it out of me, and now it's almost game time and my brain is a big turd.

So here is my wit and hockey analysis combined:
I hope the Flyers win tonight against the Penguins. If they don't I'll probably get over it. I'm going to get drunk enough so that if they do lose it won't really bother me.

Ok, now that that's out of the way 2 things.

The band formerly known as Prince, formerly known as Sara Drive is now known as Enter the Rooms. I went to their show last week and it was great. The two songs on their myspace aren't their best, in my opinion. If you're interested (dad I hope you're reading this so I'm not talking to no one) I can get you a copy of "Hold My Hat Please Dear" and "Hideaway", which are capital awesome. Drop me a note if you want them. If you live in New York, like Heath Ledger (bam!) used to, you'll be pleased to know that they have another show coming up next month. Not so sadly I'll be in the funky U.K. so someone will have to tape it for me.

Secondly....

If you're sitting at work, in your apartment, in a car, in an elevator, at the gynecologist, submerged in a tank of water for 8 hours, are studying, are making love to your roofied younger brother, at Hogwarts, on the subway, in a Subway, at a Flyers game, or anywhere for that matter you should be listening to Tea Leaf Green. They're jam-bandier than I've gone before but they're great. If you listen to Garden Part 3 and don't tap your toes within 10 seconds I will give you all your money back. Because you're going to need it to buy some new toes - yours are broken. Best thing is that they're all over The Archive and have new shows posted almost daily. I thought they'd only be good for the summer but there is so much good stuff to listen to, or ignore if that's the mood your in.

If you like Garden Part III, get into One Reason, Taught to be Proud, Earth and Sky, Papa's in the Backroom and take it from there.....

Let's Go Flyers!!!

Listened to: uhhhhhhhh

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