This Guy's Team Loses

Oh man they got us both, Habs fans! It looked like the Flyers were going to win, and then it looked like there was no way they cold hold the Canadiens off, and then they did win! I told you to watch out!

I really have no idea how they actually ended up winning. Let's revisit some important keys to winning any sporting contest:

1. Get attempts on the other team's goal while stopping them from getting chances on yours.
I think it's safe to say the Flyers did not accomplish this one. I still can't even believe the shot totals when I see them: 34 to 14? That's the sign of a blowout...or so one would think.

2. Avoid taking penalties/fouls.
The Flyers had 29 PIM to the Canadiens 8. I know I'm kind of cheating by including the 10 minutes that pre-empts the game misconduct, but Hatcher wasn't available for the end of the game so I'm going to count them. Is this John Stevens' pre-game speech?

"Alright guys. Some people say that this team has an incredible power play. Some math wizards from MIT even have their powerplay percentage as the best in the league. But I don't believe that. Those numbers? They can shove them up their butts. Let's go out there and prove them all wrong fellas. Let's give them a powerplay. Then let's give them a full 2 minute 5-on-3. And when we stop them on that we'll give them a full 5 minute powerplay! And then we'll see who's number one! Let's go boys!!"

3. Be sexier than the other team.
By default they accomplished this one, but almost gave it away when Jim Dowd failed to keep his point streak going. Those Kostitsyns man, they look like a funeral director's stillborn with an albino mannequin. They are nasty. Saggy nasty.

4. Shoot at the place where it makes points.
On top of the Flyers astounding 14 shots on goal they had 9 shots off target - roughly 1/3. When the Flyers finally got set up on the gift powerplay they got at the end of the game because of a really stupid penalty by the Canadiens Joffery Lupul took a shot from the side boards that I swear to you, had it not hit the 3 guys standing in the high slot, would have hit the other side boards directly across the ice.

5. Sometimes try to control the ball/puck/frisbee/greased midget
I've been looking online for a website that shows time of puck possession but can't find one. I'd be willing to bet that the Canadiens had the puck 3x's as long as the Flyers did.

Hey guys at Four Habs Fans - is Carey Price kidding? I didn't think a person existed who gave less effort than Mike Green, but it looks like Carey is still definitely in the running for the Eli Manning Shrug of Disappointment Trophy.

Listened to Malajube: Montreal - 40C