7th Canuck - Worst Idea Ever

Ever since the NHL commissioned me to provide them some analyitcs on when they're going to have to go to the three number jersey I have been eyeballs deep in jersey number data. I came across a little gem yesterday that I'm not sure how I missed when it actually happened. I'm sure many of you have heard of it, but for those of you who have not, last fall the Vancouver Canucks went through with possibly the worst thought out marketing campaign in the history of the NHL.

For lack of a real number to retire and need of a ceremony to drive revenue the Canucks decided to retire the #7 last fall in honor of their fans, the 7th Canuck. Don't puke yet, it gets worse. The original plan was to have a different season ticket holder raise the banner during a ceremony that would take place before every single home game. I'm cringing even writing this. How pathetic is that? The Wild retired #1 in honor of their fans back when the NHL returned to Minnesota in 2000, which is also cheesy, but you could at least attribute that one to over-excitement. But Vancouver...gimme a break!

First of all, 7 is a great number (just ask George Castanza) and it's unfortunate when it's retired on any team. And if you count the Canucks mockery of jersey retirement, which I don't except for this stat, it's tied with 9 as the most oft retired number in NHL history (the Leafs and their "Honored Numbers" are excluded from all of this because I don't even know what to make of that). Secondly, what the hell were the people who decided to do this thinking except "let me get another honk on that crack pipe?" It's just so embarrassing. Take a look, even their fans look to be sliding down in their chairs during the ceremony:

How awful. Luckily they did away with the ceremony after that first horrific night, but the number is still retired and hanging from the rafters of GM Place as I write this. They've admitted it was a bad idea by eliminating the ceremony, why not just totally undue the whole thing, fire some VP, and pretend like it never happened. I'd be willing to look the other way. For the sake of the sport at least.

FGSB as Senior Vice President of Marketing during the summer of 2008, as performed by the cast of Waiting for Gaufman

Joe Smith: I have a great idea, if we need to have an event why not retire the number 7 and say it's in honor of the fans? You know, as the 7th Canuck?
FGSB: You're fired. Get the fuck out of my face.