Buffalo's Suck Not Limited to Buffalo

Living in New York you find a lot of places for groups of out-of-towners to meet and watch sports. There are Dolphins bars, Lakers bars, Canadian Curling Team bars...you name it. Who wouldn't want to get together with some fellow fans and root for the away team without fear of having some brash New Yorker tell you how much "you suck."

If Buffalo is the shitiest city on the map it should come as no surprise that the Buffalo bar in New York is the shitiest bar in New York. It's actual name is Kelly's Sports Bar, and if they were trying to make it into as realistic a resemblance to Buffalo as possible then they've succeeded, because it's a serious shit hole.

It's the only bar in New York where you can count on the heat breaking in the winter and the air conditioning in the summer. Their drinks are awful and their idea of happy hour is basically a buffalo nickel off bottles from 5 to 5:30. The place is grimy and full of hooligans, and you can't even hide yourself in a game of Photohunt because the one screen is set up behind a local that I'm pretty sure doesn't move even when they close. Probably the Mayor of Buffalo.

The only reason we ever got tricked into going into the 7th Circle of Hell, and the only thing that makes me think that maybe these guys aren't the stupidest proprietors in the history of the New York bar scene, is that they actually have Bubble Hockey. Super Chexx to the less skilled and practiced. So we went in once.

Word of advice to any bar owner anywhere - some people, when in public places, like to not feel jammed up. The bubble hockey machine in Kelly's might as well be directly in the entrance to the bar - it's that much in the way. It's crammed between the bar and a back wall that is literally 3 feet from the bar. You either have to crawl under the bar stools or Coyote Ugly yourself to the other 75% of the bar, that is if you want to see a few heavily tatted goons play pool and search through your jacket when you hang it on a chair.

The best part is, what is the first thing you think of when you read their slogan - "Official supporters bar of the Buffalo Bills, Sabres,Chicago Cubs, and now the Wisconsin Badgers!" Besides "why not throw a couple more teams on there" you must have surely thought WINGS! But there aren't any. There's no food. At the city's Buffalo bar.
New York's most prolific Philly bar, Wogie's, hands you a Yeungling, a cheese steak, and a pint of Bryers Ice Cream when you walk in the door. But the Buffalo bar has no wings - Please.

Just like Buffalo, they need to shut Kelly's down.