Losses Will Help the Flyers

Someday soon I hope to root for Luca Sbisa and James VanRiemsdyk as they streak up and down the ice wearing orange, making big hits and scoring big goals. Some day next week actually. Which is why I am willing to root against them for as long as it takes. Both Sbisa's and JVR's amateur teams have made it to their respective league's post-season tournament, and both teams start that journey this weekend. Sbisa's case is a bit more literal.

Luca Sbisa could be in a Flyers jersey again as soon as Thursday's game against the Panthers. That's if all goes as planned. Planned by me. Sbisa's 7th place Hurricanes (75 pts) are taking on the 2nd place Blades (103 pts) in the first round of the WHL playoffs, with the first game taking place tonight. If they get swept, and I pray to Joe Pesci that they do, the Hurricanes 2008-09 season will be over on Wednesday night, which means that Luca would be eligible to return to the pro ranks. And if RJ Jones is still hurt next week, I could see Sbisa getting the nod over Danny Syvret and the apparently missing Lasse Kukkonen (no one wanted him on waivers? come on!) If RJ is back Sbisa might end up pulling a Briere and playing with the Phantoms, before he would eventually come up to the Flyers for the playoffs, when roster size allowance is increased to include sexually active teenagers.

Riemer is a bit of a different story. Always with this kid.

This Sunday at 11:30am make sure to tune your television set to ESPN 2 for the announcement of the 2009 NCAA Men’s Ice Hockey Championship field. And more importantly, a list of James Van Riemsdyk's final three college opponents. Hopefully. If the Wildcats can't win this regional portion of the National Championships their season would be over as well. But who the shit knows what National Honor Society inductee James Von Ramsdyk wants to do. I'm afraid what he wants to do is stay in college and finish out the year smoking pot and facebooking with his cool college buddies. What I hope is that this dipstick wants to play some mother fucking pro hockey and drops out of school like every decent senior in the country will be doing in the next couple weeks. Most of those guys will go to the ECHL or CHL, and some will go to the A if they're lucky. But if we have room to sign that big, giant pansy then he could be wearing orange and purple in a number of weeks.

Wow - I just reread that and noticed a severe change in tone when I started talking about Sir van Riemsdyk. You know why? Because I'm already getting ready to root against this punk not just during the NCAA Championships, but forever. Harder than A-Rod, Lance Bass, J.D. Drew, and Von Hayes combined. I have no doubt in my mind that he's going to Blake Wheeler us right up our a-holes. This kid is supposed to be the Bobby Ryan we never got. Yeah, the Rangers fan who won't come play for us. The fruit of our worst season in franchise history. Our highest pick since we picked Mel Bridgman 1st overall in 1975. The great white hope of the Flyers, who's currently sleeping through his Intro to Micro Economics class.