The Psychology of Signs

Fan made signs are an indelible part of sports Americana. No where in the world, not even at this past summer's Olympics, will you spot as many signs as you'll see at a nationally televised Penguins game. Personally, I just don't get it. But rather then leave it at "just not getting it", which I do with a lot of odd things you humans do, I'm going to try to deconstruct this one. So here, best as I can tell, are the reasons why someone would go to Staples, but 10 posterboards when they only need two (the spacing is obviously going to be messed up on the first one), and try to display to the world what goes on in their head:

1. Someone thinks they have such a clever phrase that they need to write it down on a giant posterboard and hold it up above their head. This reason, which I would argue is probably the most prevalent one, is the one that confuses me the most. Could you imagine if people started doing this outside of sporting venues -This Subway is Fucking Crowded!...$4.99 for paper towels? You Gotta Be Kidding Me! - I guess the only other place this really happens is at protests. And I think we can all agree that nothing is worth protesting, except protesting itself.

2. They want to be on t.v. This one I get. It's not for me, because I'm not a fan of the limelight, but I understand that some people are. Ass Bang Crosby, Never Bang Crosby, Camels Bang Sidney - got it. You want your boss to see you hammered at a game from the comfort of his/her own couch. Totally understandable.

3. They actually think they are getting in the player's kitchens. This might be the most amusing reason. And that guy who sits behind the net at Flyers games is a classic example of this. I think he thinks he is affecting the goalies performances with his signs. His signs the goalie can't even see. If the goalie's not already intimidated by the flying giants shooting 95 mph slapshots at their faces your sign with bubble letters isn't going to do it buddy.

4. You're drunk. Now this makes sense. This would actually be one of the smaller mistakes you could make at the game. Fighting a player in the penalty box would be at the other end of that spectrum.

5. Monkey see, monkey do. You support the home team. Other people make signs. Let's make a sign! We'll totally get into it! I'm beginning to think that this might be the reason why most people do anything. Why guys wear tight jeans, why people pretend to like Beck, why girls go wild. We're all clueless and looking to take direction from those around us.