Win a Date with a Flyer!

I was just thinking about how I am by far the sluttiest dressed person in this building. And it's quite the accomplishment, as this building is 44 stories tall and is home (work) to probably about 5,000 people. It's difficult to do, especially with the restraints implied by the Business Dress setting, but there's a lot of tightness involved. It's my only weapon really. Having to wear a suit and tie everyday doesn't leave much room for sexy. The mesh shirts have gotten me in trouble in the past so I try to stay away from them. When showing skin is not an option the only other way to maintain the sexy is to make it tight.

So I caught a glimpse of myself in the glass doors (bullshit! I was checking myself out for like 10 minutes!) and I noticed how sexy I was looking. And I thought, Randy Jones would look good in this silver suit and clear tie/maroon turtle neck combination. But then I thought maybe it would look better on Jeff Carter. And then I thought if they should probably have a walk off. Am I right?

But this strikes at an even bigger question - who is the sexiest flyer? who is the grossest? But there also has to be a competition for good-looking, which is way different than hot, right? Anyway, before I knew it I was typing with 11 fingers. And I liked the audience participation yesterday - it was like Whose Line is it Anyway up in this piece (the British version that was home when I got home from school in my early teens, not Drew Carey). So here's our picks...for our..categories?

Flyer You'd Most Like to Bang Your Wife
There's a lot of emotions in this one. I'd want her to have a good time, but I wouldn't want to be jealous. And there's no way I'm giving her to Daniel Carcillo. I think in the end jealousy won:
1. Danny Briere
2. Marty Biron
3. Braydon Coburn

Hottest Flyer
Lay up.
1. RJ Jones
2. Jeff Carter
3. Kimmo Timonen

Flyer You'd Take Home to Your Mom and Larry
1. Claude Giroux
2. Darrel Powe (A Princeton Grad!)
3. Nitty (his not speaking English might be useful)

Flyer That Spends the Most Time Humping His Computer
The biggest dirtballs on the team without a doubt.
1. Daniel Carcillo
2. Joffrey Lupul
3. Andrew Alberts

Flyer That Would Leave You Wanting More in A Round of Speed Dating
1. Star of the hour, Scott Hartnell
2. Mike Knuble
3. Riley Cote

Did I miss any important rounds? Anything you'd change?

ps - It doesn't make you gay to know RJ Jones is a hot man. What would make you gay is to put your genitals in his butt.